Episode 186 - Planets: Neptune

The God of Brackish Water

England are out of the World Cup, David has become Spanish, Conor has mathematically defeated eight colleagues, and a bear is apparently rummaging around the bins. It can only be our long-awaited episode about Neptune.

Before reaching the actual planet, David demonstrates his technical skills with his tablet by revealing that every page is a photograph of his laptop screen, the neighbour expands their musical set beyond the Pink Panther theme, and our security cameras transform ordinary British wildlife into skunks, dark raccoons, dogs and dangerous North American bears.

We then attempt some science. Neptune may contain diamond rain, winds fast enough to remove your hair, clumpy rings and a moon travelling backwards towards its eventual destruction. We calculate that a Neptune year contains 90,399 Neptune days, plan a pub on Triton called The Nitrogen Geezer and spend an unreasonable amount of time discussing the Roman god of brackish water.

David also pleasures our ear holes with Interplanetary Interference before testing Conor on gods responsible for door hinges, manure, cattle worms, beans, bacon and dark passages.

NASA would be furious.